I harassed a female gamer

Thinking back, I can recall one particular incident where I participated in harassing a female gamer. At the time I was happy, even proud of the incident, but growing older I came to reflect on that moment and realized how wrong I was. It has been almost a decade since the incident, I am a bit fuzzy on the finer details, but I’ll do my best to paint the picture. The incident occurred in an online FPS called Halo. I had partied up with three real life friends. We selected a playlist and eventually found a match and joined the lobby. I think it only took the woman speaking to her boyfriend to set off the whole lobby. She was not speaking to us or about us, just the fact there was a woman online was enough to warrant the tirade of insults. I doubt she was even able to decipher the garbled mess that was directed at her because the whole lobby was in on it. This went on until the match started. Right from spawn I declared to my teammates that I am going to focus on killing her, and encouraged others to do the same. Every time we did we would make it a point to squat on or teabag her character and grunt into our microphones. I guess her teammates caught onto our antics and instead of helping her out they joined in. At some point this woman had enough and began to berate us, she kept asking why we were harassing her, that if being a woman was the cause, accused us of being sexist. I cannot recall exactly how but eventually it was only her and I speaking. I was throwing every gender insult I could come up with, every derogatory word. I stuck with insulting her weight and appearance, insinuating that no attract or thin woman ever play an online game and that something had to be wrong with her. I kept up this line of insults even after she stopped responding and I was the only one left talking. The match ended and the woman quickly backed out of the post game lobby. I sent her a voice message saying “Hey, you and I are the same. We both put our pants on one leg at a time… except mine do not split at the seams when I do”. About 15 minutes later the woman sent me a voice message. Listening to it, it was obvious she had been crying. She said that “we weren’t the same” and that she “did not understand why she was mistreated” and that she “has never felt so bad in her life”.


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